Every Christian's Guide to Protecting Your Church From Sex Offenders: Step 1
Ask the right questions first to find out where your church stands
The first part of a Christian’s duty to protect their church from offenders is to ask their leaders questions to understand how their church views this issue. Below, I’ll give more context and then review possible answers for each. But first, a quick summary of the questions:
Have you considered whether sex offenders could attend church?
Would you allow a known sex offender to attend?
If a known sex offender did attend, would you disclose?
Are there any known sex offenders attending church now?
What protections are in place for childcare, and what code of conduct for known offenders?
What happens if an offender breaks the code of conduct?
I had written most of this article under the title “A Dissident’s Guide to Protecting Your Church from Sex Offenders.” But on reflection, while it is true that Jesus was a dissident to religious institutions, this isn’t a calling to a few rebellious Christians. Although my family is discarded by our former church, we are not the weird, rebellious ones for wanting to protect children.
A violent sex offender with multiple convictions spent years in this church building filming children, organizing kids’ plays, and deceiving the leaders. Yet, at the member’s meeting when this was finally (at least partly) dragged to the light, one member asked of this offender,
“is he wounded?”
That’s weird - and also dangerous, to prioritize concern for a deceitful offender while the same church cares not a jot if he abused any children. Let’s eschew this attitude in favor of ministering to victims and protecting the vulnerable.
Unfortunately, more or less every branch of Christianity has experienced unacceptability high levels of sexual abuse:
… and that is far from an exhaustive list.
Leaders have shown too many times that they need every Christians’ help to address this issue. Every Christian should give it. If you have faith in Jesus as your savior, the Bible asks you to take the protection of little ones seriously.
And to do so out of love: This is not (at least at first) a confrontation with your church's leaders. It is a loving request for information to protect the vulnerable—and your leaders, too!
There are no traps or arguments here—just questions to start the right conversations to protect our children. The goal is to build trust with your leadership and help them by asking them the questions that lead to healthy, protected environments that follow God’s word.
You probably love and trust your leaders already. I know we certainly did. Before they disclosed and lionized an offender and then refused to investigate, we would never have dreamt of asking these questions, and we wouldn’t have believed the answers. We were sorely, badly wrong. Please don’t make the same mistake as us.
These questions are better asked over email. In my experience, it’s better to get responses in a medium that everyone knows is recorded in perpetuity.
Question 1: Have you considered whether sex offenders could attend church?
We’re looking for one of three possible answers here:
Yes, before encountering any sex offender: this alone doesn’t guarantee safety, but it’s the answer we’re hoping to hear.
Yes, because we encountered a sex offender: this is the most dangerous answer because the church’s policies may be written out of sympathy and “love” for an offender who is seeking to use the church as a victim pool. This answer requires the following questions to carry extra scrutiny.
No, not yet: this is the case for many churches. The good news is that this church can easily move into the first answer’s category by thinking about it now. This answer means members must ensure the church writes its policies with third-party help as needed as soon as possible.
Question 2: Would you allow a known sex offender to attend?
I recently wrote about the suitability of churches and offenders to carry out this ministry. There are three possible answers:
No, not in any circumstance: this is the safest answer.
Yes, if they meet specific criteria: ask what those criteria are. Any offender who is attracted to children should not be exposed to them, and if your church would do this, it’s a red flag.
Yes, all sex offenders would be welcome to attend: this is downright foolish and flags the church as a potential victim pool for sex offenders in the area.
Question 3: If a known sex offender did attend, would you disclose?
Some churches attempt to do this ministry secretly, because avoiding shame on the behalf of the offender is more important to them than allowing each congregant to decide what risk level they are willing to personally accept for themselves and their children. Possible answers include:
Yes, always: again, the safest answer that prioritizes the vulnerable.
Yes, for a certain type of offender: again, ask which type and use your discernment to ask yourself if you’d want to know about these types of offender.
No, never: this is foolish as it allows offenders to gain credibility from church and then attempt to leverage that into access to victims without parents and guardians being aware of their status - especially in churches that encourage members to get to know one another regardless of your “season” in life. The follow up question is, “have you made church members aware that you would not disclose?” A church that refuses to disclose sex offenders is likely a church harboring one, endangering the vulnerable.
Question 4: Are there any known sex offenders attending church now?
Ask this question even if the church says they don’t disclose.
Answer refused: most churches who don’t disclose won’t tell you this. Again, it means most likely there is a member of the congregation who is a sex offender, and you’ll need to read part 2 of this guide next week for what to do next.
Yes: If your church confirms a known offender is currently attending, you should ask who. Not only is it essential for children to be kept away from them, but the same is true in reverse: it is an act of love to a sex offender to make sure they avoid temptation. For both reasons, the person's identity (or identities) is required.
No: that’s good to know. But the church and members should be aware that most sex offenders are never caught.
Question 5: What protections are in place for childcare, and what code of conduct for known offenders?
Each church should have policies regarding known sex offenders and childcare protection. Churches that don’t, that are focused on living out the Bible, will happily agree to make this a priority.
Policy documents provided: ideally, your church can give you some policy documents that you can carefully review, and you can follow up by asking for examples of when the policy has been enforced.
Vague details given: if the answer comes in the form of some vague or verbal protections, ask for a written policy. If there isn’t one, ask your church to document their approach.
No protections cited: this is dangerous, especially if the church has already encountered sex offenders. Your church needs to be urged by as many members as possible to start protecting the vulnerable in the form of a documented, enforced policy.
Question 6: What happens if an offender breaks the code of conduct?
Having a policy is one thing: it’s meaningless unless it’s enforced. Too often, churches forgive offenders and give them a “second chance” out of cheap grace.
Will always exclude: this is the answer that is safest. A sex offender can be allowed no room to break policy: if they do, and get away with it, they will find it very difficult to resist attempting to break policy again. Breaches of policy also demonstrate that the offender does not respect the church leaders and cannot be relied on to do so in the future either.
Will sometimes exclude based on severity and repentance: the problem with this answer is that repentance often means an offender simply shedding some tears and saying sorry rather than a drawn-out demonstration of repentance over a longer period of time. This approach requires trusted elders with much discernment and wisdom. Everyone must decide for themselves the level of risk they can tolerate in the context of their own churches: this is too much for me.
Will always welcome the offender back after some time away: for most, no amount of time makes an offender safer. The church is asking “how much time should an offender serve away to adequately punish them?” when they should be asking, “is the offender now safe to attend, in a way they weren’t before?” It’s typically very difficult to conclude “yes” to this question, with wisdom and conviction.
Next, how to do your own investigations into offenders when you suspect church leaders have fallen short.