"Why are you attacking God's church?"
Why as Christians we should always seek to serve the truth
A summary
From fall 2023 through early 2024, our family went through an experience with the handling of a sex offender in our local church that resulted in us leaving. The church in question is Edgefield Church, Nashville.
Before we left, we tried to speak about the issue at length with multiple elders, the pastor, and the associate pastor over three months. Those discussions were conducted on our behalf with nothing but the best intentions for the church and always from a place of love. In return, the leadership did not listen. They did not follow our pleas to do the right thing.
Instead, one elder in particular turned the situation around and tried to assign blame and sin onto us for being judgmental, and challenged me personally, as a father, to have a relationship with the sex offender, whose crimes were against children. When we tried to address this at a members’ meeting, we were told that more attempts at reconciliation were necessary and they would conduct them at a later time. 2 weeks later, with no further discussions having taken place, they refused to do that, saying it was all just a misunderstanding and Jesus would make this right in heaven.
Listen to our Bodies Behind the Bus where we talk through the story in depth here:
What the church should do
It is my belief that it is possible - although not certain - that there has been historical abuse in this church. This is an opinion also of at least one elder, who said it was “highly likely” there were other victims. Last we heard, the church refuses to bring in a third party to investigate due to fear of being sued by the offender (yes, you read that right). They should do that now and make sure the report is published publicly.
This church should serve the truth and discover if there are additional victims. The leadership shouldn’t hide behind legal advice. They should publish an updated policy on how they deal with sex offenders that prioritizes the safety of children and victims, not the offender.
To victims of sexual abuse: we stand with you. Unlike the elders of the church when they say this, that isn’t an empty statement that is unassociated with any meaningful actions. It’s a statement that we back up with an investment of our time, effort, and other costs.
To the elders: do the right thing. If you are Godly men, then act like it. If you care about victims, try to minister to them. Acknowledge that you are in this position because you are ill-equipped and you need third party help, and make sure the goal of acquiring that help is to serve Jesus through truth, transparency and ministering to the vulnerable, not to protect the legal entity of your local church. Doing this robs it of the very identity you are trying to protect: a church afraid of the truth is not a church of Jesus Christ.
Why are we going public about this?
Firstly, only as a last resort and only after countless appeals to multiple elders at various stages that they may do the right thing.
Writing and speaking publically about negative experiences in churches is not easy. It shouldn’t necessarily be done in all cases; writing this substack is a result of careful thought and prayer on this matter. Ultimately, we are far from convinced that this church is a safe space, has held itself to account, that victims have been identified or that the offender is presently adequately safeguarded against. We see that we are in a unique position in terms of what we know and our position, now, outside the church.
In her book Redeeming Power, Diane Langberg puts it better:
“It begins with facing the truth. Consider what a healthy response to a physical symptom looks like. A person discovers a lump on their body; they can choose to ignore the lump or take action to protect their physical system. When a response is driven by fear of what the lump might indicate and how disruptive or painful treatment might be, the person may hide the facts from themselves, denying the presence of the lump even though it could cost them their health or even their life. But if they face the truth and do what is necessary to address the symptoms, they can bring healing to their body.”
To the members of the church: do not blindly assume your elders have acted well. We know you believe - as we did - that their motives are good. That may have been true: it is very possible for good motivation to lead to great evil. It is clear now that they both err’ed, and also did not hold themselves sufficiently to account. Ask questions, and make sure you chase down detail. “Some lawyers”, “a report” is not good enough. Ask who did it. Ask for copies. This is how you build trust. If you don’t ask such questions for fear of reprisal, or for the answers you might receive, ask what might happen to the “lump” that is in your church.
This is not a competition to be more “Godly” or “graceful” than the person next to you. It is instead a matter of living out God’s word and serving truth.
Subscribe to this Substack, ask questions. Be open to hearing other opinions, and changing your mind. If you are a member of this church, and you wish to talk with us, you can ask a former member of our small group for our contact information, or message me via Substack. I’d be happy to talk with any of you over a coffee and hear you out in return or answer any questions you have. The Bible tells us “as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” - let’s live that out. And not just men: women are allowed to talk about this too!
What the Substack will cover
I plan on writing up each stage of the process that we went through, and highlighting each place where we feel the church made mistakes, from the original disclosure, to their policy, and then eventually covering a full timeline of the first time the leadership knew of the offender through to the present day. In the few places where they did the right thing, I’ll be sure to note that too.
Just learned about this Substack through The Wartburg Watch, and it looks wonderful. So glad you are shining a light on the issue of sex offenders in the church and how churches respond.